It is what it is
by Olive Mack
Summary: This story follows Rory Gilmore and Jess Mariano. I do believe nothing between these two were closed. The last words between the two were "It is what it is." This follows their journey back to each other and what happens next.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY. ALL CREDIT GOES TO THE BRILLIANT AMY SHERMAN-PALLADINO.**

**This story follows the Rory Gilmore and Jess Mariano. I am kind of making it into a mini-series. Leave reviews. I am new to this so please, suggestions is invited.**

**Chapter One:**

"So you're getting in tonight? What time?" Lorelai asked eagerly. "I will be there before you practice falling down the aisle." Rory joked with her mother. "Thank you for the vote of confidence, kid. I'm only asking because your grandmother won't stop calling with questions and suggestions about how the floral decorations are too immature or how she knows this cake person. But all I hear is, "All of your ideas suck, Lorelai." Otherwise known as Life with Emily Gilmore." Rory laughed, "Well I will be there in—" Lorelai interrupted, "4 hours. 39 minutes and 47, 46, 45…" "Mom, relax. This will be the one time I will tell you to lay off the caffeine for a while. I already called Sookie and everything is ready. She is currently working on your cake, I will pick up the flowers in the morning. Babette is decorating. All you have to do is show up." Rory reassured.

"Okay, okay. Even from Chicago, you take care of business for your old lady." Rory smiled at that. "What can I say? Now BREATHE. I will call grandma. See you soon." "Drive safe, baby. I love you." Rory hung up and put her things in the car.

After she hung up with her Grandma, she went through the wedding details in her head: Mom got her dress and Luke's tux this morning, Sookie is taking care of all the food and cake, Babette is decorating (with guidance by Lorelai and Sookie), I have to get the flowers in the morning, Sookie, Liz, and I have our dresses, and Luke said he would take care of TJ, Jess, and Jackson's attire. Other than that, everything was set.

Even though she knew everything was ready, Rory was nervous. When the thought of Jess came into her mind, it made her tense. This would be the first time she would see him since that night at Truncheon five years prior.

"_It is what it is. You. Me."_

What was that supposed to mean? The question that has been planted in her head when Jess's face pops up. The question that would be answered in less than five hours.

When she got to her mom's house, Luke was already at the inn setting up with Babette. She went into the house to find Lorelai asleep on the couch or so she thought. As soon as the door creaked shut, Lorelai was up and took her daughter in for a bear hug. "Oh. Hey there, Sleeping Beauty." Rory said startled. On that note, her mom did what she did best or in her head she did. She grabbed her daughter and started dancing while singing, "I know you, I walked with you Once Upon a Dream." "You know, when I said that, I didn't mean for you to reenact it for me." Rory said breaking away from her mother. "Ahhhh, I missed you kid."

As they were all lining up on the stage to practice, everyone was there except Jess. Typical. He would probably pop up during an intense moment like usual. As Lorelai walked up the stair steps to Luke, you could the happiness and love plastered across their smiling faces. Looking at them made you jealous of how in love they were. And of course, the door squeaks open. Jess runs up the stairs to the Best Man spot. He apologizes to the clearly frustrated couple which led the pastor to bring them back to the point of this get together. Jess looks at everyone, then he looks at Rory, who was already staring at him. When he saw her, she looke back to Luke and Lorelai. Trying to not make a big deal. Trying to hide her shaking hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two:**

As soon as rehearsal was over, everyone headed to Luke's for dinner. We were all eating, talking, and having a great time. Rory thought now was the perfect time. She got on top of a table and everyone looked to her.

"Hey everyone! I'm so glad everyone is here for a monumental event that we all thought would never happen." Everyone laughed. "Anyways, or years we have all seen these two, very slowly and patiently, fall in love. Through, struggles, misunderstandings, mistakes, pain, and terrible obstacles, they made it. These two make me believe that this kind of love is worth it. To Luke and Lorelai!" Everyone repeated.

Lorelai, with tears in her eyes mouthed to her daughter that she loved her. Rory winked and made her way down from the table. She heard a voice from behind her, "Nice speech." She kept her cool. "Nice entrance," she replied. They hugged. It wasn't a hug of longing, it was a hug old friends shared. The most innocent kind. As soon as Rory pulled away, Lane pulled her away to talk about music for the reception. When they were done, Rory looked at the time and thought she should finish her article for Sunday's paper tonight. So, it was time for Rory to call it a night.

"But it's only nine!" Lorelai said. "I know but I still have a lot of revising to do. Plus, I'm getting really tired." Rory said. "Well, I'll go with you." "No, mom. Have fun. I'm just going to walk." Luke was quick to say, "It's freezing. You are not walking." Rory reassured him she would be fine. The Jess said, "I can take you. I really don't mind." "Thank you but I have no problem with walking." Jess was already putting his coat on and pushing her out the door.

Jess pulled up to Rory's house and turned the engine off. "Well, thanks for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow." As she started opening the door, he said shockingly, "Did you refuse my ride because you were trying to avoid me?" Rory didn't know what to say. She did the best she could. "Jess, I said no because I was fine walking. I am not trying to avoid you. We are adults. We have careers and lives. We aren't kids anymore." "I know. I just don't want things to be weird with us." Rory again didn't know what to say but, "You better not be late tomorrow." Then gave an innocent smile and got out of the car.

"Idiot. I am an idiot." Jess repeated to himself at least until he made it back to the diner. He wanted things to go smoother. Not seeing Rory in years gave some leverage. But of course, he had to pull the awkward questions from the beginning. Again he said, "What. An. Idiot."

"Excuse me, I graduated top of my class. Well, there were only five of us. I was the only one who showed up." Kirk always had a way of getting under Jess's skin. Scratch that. EVERYONE'S SKIN. "Why are you still here, Kirk? The party is over. Go home."

"I am a paying customer. You need my business."

"No, Kirk. We really don't." Jess said angrily.

As soon as Kirk opened his mouth, Luke walked in. "It's not worth it, Jess. Just give him a piece of pie and he will leave." Like a vulture, Jess thought. They keep coming back, nudging you and pestering you. To get away, Jess finally gave in and got him a piece of pie.

"Going to the inn and I am getting ma-aa-arried." Lorelai sang throughout the house. Rory knew her mom was partly doing this so Rory would wake up. She decided not to fight it and got up.

"You know what I just realized?" Rory asked. "That veils are just your own mini torture chamber? I swear if this thing pokes my head again..." Lorelai replied. Rory noted, "After today, I will be the only Gilmore girl. Dad is a Hayden and you will be a Danes. And I will be the sad 26-year-old who belongs to neither of my parents' names." "Alright, Lucas Scott. Let's relax a little bit." Lorelai retorted. "I am in the abyss of names." Rory said adding to the dramatics." Her mom gave her an annoyed look. "Is it out of your system?" "It's only natural to cause drama on a wedding day."

As Rory said this, she thought of Sookie's wedding. How Jess showed up. She knew why he came back then, even though she didn't want to admit it. That day was the day she figured out how much she meant to him and vice versa. That's why she kissed him. She knew how wrong it was but, she had to know what it felt like.

"How'd the ride home go… RORY." Lorelai asked.

"The what." Rory said quickly snapping back to reality.

"Jess? The ride home? How did it go?"

"Oh. Fine." Rory answered quickly.

"Mom. Stop."

"Oh. What—Come on. You really expect me to believe that?"

"It's a free country, you can believe whatever you want. I'm just telling you what happened." Rory replied wittily. "He seems to be doing okay for himself. He has his own publishing company. Written a book. I mean he has a lot to do, he must not have a girlfriend." Rory responded to that quickly, "Okay, Mom. It's YOUR wedding day. YOUR day! This is one of the only times I will say this day is all about you…. And Luke, but whatever. Now, go take a shower." Rory said walking to her room.

"I thought I was the mom!" Lorelai yelled.

"Only on Tuesdays!" Rory yelled back.

"Just hold still, Honey." Babette yelled at Luke while she was putting touches on the flower she was putting on him. "Come on, Luke. If you're good, I'll buy you a lollipop," Jess teased. "If I wasn't in a fitted suit, had my hair tortured, and wasn't getting married, I would end you." Luke threatened. "I see. I see. But guess what? You are." Jess replied. Luke took a step forward, "Don't play with me, Jess." "Oh calm down, boys. Today is a good day. You're getting married. Douchey McDoucherson is just being himself." Babette added. "See, Luke. I am just being myself." Jess reassured kind of.

Luke smiled. "I'm glad you're here, Jess."

"Me too."

Luke looked at the time and saw that it was time. "We should get going." Jess and Luke started walking out. Jess patted Luke's back.

Rory got to the inn early to make sure the flower delivery came and to see if everything was in place. Her hair was in a loose curly bun with little curly hairs all over the place. She wore an oversized "**YALE**" sweatshirt with leggings and boots. And for once in Stars Hollow it was without Taylor's help. She smiled to herself. She was sad that she wasn't here to help Sookie with putting Lorelai's dress on. Though, she knew those two needed time together. So, she turned on the music to see if it was loud enough for the whole reception to hear. She stood out in the middle of the dance floor where she began swaying to the music. Remembering how her mom taught her how to slow dance, how to ride a bike, how to master chubby bunny, how to drive, and how to be a Gilmore girl. Now, she would be the only one.

Luke ended up on the phone with April. The flights got mixed up so she won't be able to make it to the wedding. As Luke was consoling April, Jess started walking up the stairs to the inn. He heard music which made him head to the overly sized dining room and saw her. Rory. 16 year old Rory, dancing with no cares in the world. But that was who she was. That's what made him fall in love with her all those years ago. She never needed a reason or excuse for any of it. Never faking it. Just Rory. Beautiful and lovely Rory.

"I still see you still don't have any moves." Jess finally said. He startled her, "Sorry, I didn't know anyone was here."

"I shouldn't have interrupted."

"No! I'm glad you did. Last night, I shouldn't have responded like I did. I was just nervous." Jess stepped forward, "I made you nervous?" Rory laughed. "Cool it, hot shot." She checked her watch. "I should go get dressed." She started to walk away then turned back and said, "Jess?" He turned, "I missed you."

When Rory shut the door, she turned around to find her mother, her best friend, and partner in crime sitting at the table. She was absolutely beautiful. Her dress was a simple sweetheart neckline dress with no designs. She said she wanted something that wasn't complicated. Yet, she made that dress full of life. She was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee on each side. One waiting for her.

"What are you doing?! You could get your dress stained."

"Coffee stains are natural for me. Sit."

Rory was beginning to feel a bit anxious. "Are you sure? Because—"

"LORELAI LEIGH GILMORE! SIT." Her mother said in a serious voice.

Rory took a seat. "We had coffee this morning, mom. You are going to be walking down the aisle in less than 20 minutes."

"One, it's my wedding and I can walk down when I am good and ready. 2, I have some things that I want to say to you." So, Rory took a sip of coffee and focused on her mother.

"No matter what, you are the greatest love I have, kid. You saved me. Nothing between you and me will change. I love Luke with everything I have which includes you."

Rory got up and hugged her mom. "I know, mom. And I appreciate that but why are you telling me this?" Rory asked confused. "I feel like I don't tell you enough." Lorelai said with guilt. "Mom, you do. Now, I hate to say this. Well, not really but I have to get dressed. Some wedding I have to be in." Rory said winking at her mother. "Oh and one more thing." Lorelai said to her daughter. Rory peeked her head out of the door. "You have grown up but, Jess has too. Keep that in mind, babe." Sookie knocked on the door signaling it was time for her to get her finishing touches when Rory yelled to her mom, "Mom? You look absolutely stunning." Lorelai smiled and walked out the door.

Rory shut the bathroom door. When her mom said that about Jess, she immediately felt selfish and rude. She changed since the last time she saw Jess. That was known but, she never once thought of how Jess changed.

How true the saying, "It's crazy how much can change in a year" is. What's crazier? What can change in five.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! I am so sorry I haven't posted in a few days. It's been nuts but now it is starting to calm down. So thankful you are loving this as much as I am. Just wait for more… ;) If you have anything you would like to add, please do not hesitate to review. I love reviews.

**Chapter Three:**

It was time. Everyone was beginning to take their seats, bridesmaids and groomsmen were lining up.

"Did ya hear Jess is walking Rory down the aisle?" Babette whispered to Patty. "I know. Did I ever tell you he reminds me of my first fiancée? Tall dark and handsome. I swear that Mariano kid gets yummier every time he comes to Stars Hallow." Luke walked up behind the troublemakers, "As much as I appreciated how much you two appreciate my nephew, I would also appreciate a little quietness." Babette and Miss Patty were still a little shocked anyone could hear them, which let's face it. Everyone could hear them from miles away.

Lorelai was already in the back of the line with her father, Liz with TJ, Sookie with Jackson, and Jess was waiting on Rory. As he checked the time, he heard heels on the staircase. He looked up and an absolutely breathtaking woman stood before him. Rory wearing a long, flowy, and lacy black dress with red lips. She stood next to Jess avoiding eye contact so she didn't have to see his face.

Jess didn't realize he was staring until Rory whispered, "Well, look who is here on time." Jess couldn't help but smile and say, "You look stunning." Rory gave him a little shove and then the doors opened. The time came and first up, Rory and Jess.

"I never thought this day would come. There has been so much haze with us, our relationship. Even when we went our separate ways, when we screamed at each other, when other people intruded, one thing was and is clear. How madly in love with you I am. I know that this. That you and me, are meant to be. And that is more than enough for me. I love you so much, Luke Danes."

"Lorelai Gilmore. You are the most irritating, most annoying person I have ever met. But, you are also the most loving, understanding, funny, giving person I know. You teach me something new every day. Something that makes me fall in love with you more. Before you and me, I was a miserable sap that was waiting for the coffee crazed woman every morning. I can't stand the thought of spending my life with anyone else. I wouldn't want to."

In those moments of truths and clarity, you could see the crowd laughing and crying. Knowing that these two were in for the long hall. Rory and Jess looked at each other for a midsecond. But with that look, it felt like nothing between happened, that Jess was looking at the love of his life.

Music was playing, people were dancing, and everyone was everywhere. But all Jess could see was Rory taking care of business, calling her publisher. He walked over to her table and took the phone from her hand telling her publisher, "Let the woman enjoy her mother's wedding." Hanging up the phone. "I can't believe you ju—". "Come dance with me." Jess interrupted. "I really need to call him back." Rory said worried. "You need to enjoy Lorelai's wedding day. Dance with me." Rory took Jess's hand and he led her to the dance floor.

Jess held tight the small of her back with one hand. The other hand held hers. "Did I tell you how absolutely stunning you look?" Rory blushed feeling uncomfortable. "You done now?" "Well, I was going to say you are breath taking but, I didn't want you to blush like you are now." Rory laughed and said, "You don't look so bad yourself, Dodger." Dodger, Jess thought. I haven't heard that in well, 10 years. Jess has been wanting to asking her but it was never the time. Maybe now…

"Rory can I ask you something?" Rory looked at him. "What happened with Logan?" She laughed and said, "Logan Huntzberger….. He proposed. I said no." "Why?" Jess asked. "He got a job in California and wanted me to go with him." Jess confused, "And you didn't want to?" "I wanted to make a name for myself. Be my own Gilmore before I became a Huntzberger. I loved him. I would have married him. He just wanted it to be sooner than later. So, he left." "Wow. Proves my "Porsche Douche" theory." Rory giggled. "No, he was ready to settle down. I wasn't." Jess knew he was being nosy but he had these questions in his head for years, he needed answers. "Well, what about now? If he asked you now, what would you say?" He wondered out loud. "I don't think his wife would like that too much." That made Jess laugh with happiness and clarity. Rory continued, "But no. We had our time. It was amazing but, I don't think we was the one." Before Jess could take it back, "Do you think you have met the one?" He regretted saying immediately. Rory just looked at him. Just as she worked up a response, a voice came from behind them. "Let me have a turn with him," Lorelai said. Rory went to have a dance with Luke as Jess went Lorelai. As they were dancing, Jess and Rory caught each other's eye and smiled.

As the reception was coming to a close, Rory tried to find Babette, Maury, and Patty who were in charge of clean-up. Finding Kirk, "Kirk have you seen Patty?" "Yeah, her, Babette and Maury left a little bit. They said Maury got sick but he just looked drunk." "Figures. Thanks Kirk." Rory was walking towards the ballroom to take down the wedding decorations. She took off her heels and took the overly tight bobby pins out of her hair. As she started taking the stuff that she was able to take down, Jess was walking by looking for quiet when he found Rory.

He was looking at her, wondering how stupid Logan was for letting this classic and elegant woman slip through his fingers. How Jess let her slip through. He has done more stupid things in his life, but leaving Rory in the dark, coming and going as he pleased, that was the one that would stick with him forever.

"Are you going to just stand there and watch or are you going to help?" Rory asked.

"So what about you, Mariano?" Rory asked Jess as they were both cleaning up the reception area which was now vacant. "What about me?" "Your life for the past five years? Anyone serious? New annoyances? Life experiences." Jess laughed at this eager Rory he remembered. "Honestly, the publishing company is my life. I've been to Italy, Ireland, and London for publishing opportunities. No new fetishes other than bad grammar." "Wow. So vague." Jess smiled. "What about girlfriends? Anyone serious?" Jess's face went from a smile to serious. "Uh, yeah. There was. Her name was Hannah. She was always so optimistic, so full of life, she could see me for who I really was. She wouldn't quit till she got her point across. She was amazing." Rory smiled. "She sounds like it. What happened to her?" Jess smirked for a moment. "She wanted to see the world and the company was just starting up. I couldn't go with her. So, "Andy" took her," Jess laughed. But it was a laugh Rory knew all too well. It was the laugh he made when he didn't want anyone to know he was in pain. "Jess….." "Rory, it really is okay. It wasn't but now it is." "When did it happen?" Rory asked shyly. "Three months after I saw you." Three months after I hurt him, Rory thought.

"Rory, just so you know—". "Jess, don't." Rory said quickly. Jess, as always, interrupted. "I am not mad. Yes, I was hurt. But, I should've known." Rory just stared at him. She had tears in her eyes. Not from sadness, but from anger. She is trying her best to make this civilized but he is making it too hard. She smiled and said, "Well, looks like everything is cleaned up. I am getting really tired so I am going to go." She was walking out when Jess called out to her. "Rory, please stop." So she did. "You don't need to feel bad about this. I'm fine." Rory threw her stuff down and turned to him. "Well, I am so glad YOU are fine. I didn't destroy you. I didn't make you feel like you weren't worth fighting for. Like you weren't enough for me." Jess was catching on. With tears streaming down her face she continued, "I am sorry I led you on that night. More than you know. But this. This does not make us even." Jess just wanted to wipe the tears he put there away. He took a step towards her, "No Jess. You shut me out. Instead of telling me about school and your dad, you left without saying a word. Do you understand what that felt like for me? The boy I loved left and he didn't even have the nerve to tell me. You came and went as you wanted. Telling me you loved me then walking away. Telling me to run away from my life so I could be with you. So honestly Jess, I don't feel like this separation, this distance that I have put up, is my fault when you were the one who started this." There is it. She finally said it, he thought.

The both stood there. Rory was done talking. Done yelling. Jess didn't know what to say. What to do other than go to her and hold her. Tell her how sorry he is, and if she gave him one more chance, he wouldn't mess it up. He wouldn't let her go, let her be alone in this relationship. But, he knew those words would mean nothing right now.

As he was about to try to say something, Kirk walked up. "I'm in charge of vacuuming. Which I don't really understand why because you guys cleaned up." Rory wiped her tears away and said, "It is what it is, Kirk. Jess will help you. I'm done here." Rory grabbed her things including her dignity and walked out the door.

He always told himself that if he had a chance with her again, he would never let her slip away. Yet, he was watching her walk way again. Every time he sees her walk away from him, there is an ache that she leaves.

"_It is what it is. You. Me."_

He remembers telling her this years ago, never figuring out what it meant to both of them. Until now. Until he saw the woman he loves walk away again because of the pain he left.


End file.
